tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post4966037795454929373..comments2024-03-28T14:11:24.265-07:00Comments on dhamma musings: Buddhism, Weddings And Marriage Shravasti Dhammikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06246408068143301108noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-66409072715265186752021-12-07T02:58:52.972-08:002021-12-07T02:58:52.972-08:00send birthday gifts online, happy birthday gifts o...<a href="https://www.indiagift.in/occasions-delivery-online/birthday" rel="nofollow">send birthday gifts online</a>, <a href="https://www.indiagift.in/occasions-delivery-online/birthday" rel="nofollow">happy birthday gifts online</a>Daisyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10345431336454023899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-88406560431956298262016-10-05T19:37:07.359-07:002016-10-05T19:37:07.359-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Lisa Moorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10142642945914440943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-37916021055748604252016-09-04T21:04:59.157-07:002016-09-04T21:04:59.157-07:00Dear Reasonable, Though the Venerable has pointed ...Dear Reasonable, Though the Venerable has pointed out that there is no references in the Buddhist scriptures to the three issues, the Buddhist should know what is preferable or good for himself, his loved ones, his family and others in the context of the society he lives in.Walterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14473139174740412105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-3492695526662128222016-09-03T21:54:35.024-07:002016-09-03T21:54:35.024-07:00Dear Reasonable, sorry for the delay in replying t...Dear Reasonable, sorry for the delay in replying to your question. I have been away and am just now back. The Buddha does not comment on any of the relationships you mention and none of them are specifically mentioned in the text. However, there is no doubt that powerful men sometimes married more than one wife and that these were publically acknowledged to be his wives. Likewise kings often had harems apart from their recognized wives. Even in the west, and despite Christianity’s strong insistence on monogamy, relationships existed that would qualify as sexually open marriages, polyamory and co-habitation. To take one of but many examples, Louis XIV was married to Maria Theresa of Spain while having relationships with at least nine other woman (mostly not all at the same time) and that most of these liaisons were public knowledge, tolerated by his wife and he apparently genuinely loved some of them while also loving his wife. To put it in evolutionary terms, ‘the dominate male has access to the females’. What would the Buddha have said about such arrangements? Probably: Overindulgence!’ <br /> There are swinger events in Singapore? Goodness! Perhaps the country is not as boring as I have thought. <br />Shravasti Dhammikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06246408068143301108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-81667042414665736812016-08-30T18:41:44.454-07:002016-08-30T18:41:44.454-07:00Hi Bhante,
Do the Suttas mention anything about t...Hi Bhante,<br /><br />Do the Suttas mention anything about three phenomena: <br />1. sexually-open marriages? <br />2. polyamory?<br />3. co-habitation without marriage?<br /><br />In sexually open-marriages, there is no promise of sexual-exclusiveness (which means adultery - the breaking of a promise of sexual-exclusiveness - is not applicable) or at least later on the parties in the marriage decided to change it to one of sexual-openness. Within Moral Philosophy, there does not seem to be any moral-wrong with such open-marriages.<br /><br />There are swing-events even in Singapore (it was featured in one newspaper many years ago) where married couples gather to exchange spouses for sex. reasonablehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14971948580051107601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-22151426688121245822016-08-07T21:06:29.869-07:002016-08-07T21:06:29.869-07:00Dear Bhante, s.o. has removed the article because ...Dear Bhante, s.o. has removed the article because he suspected copyright infringement (he found the text also in the Sunday Times). As I have lost your email (mine is schnippschnupp (at) yahoo.de) I will try to contact you through the BDMS and send you the "declaration" that they usually require.GiDohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00037285400565881820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-40432138718885392802016-06-30T12:01:10.710-07:002016-06-30T12:01:10.710-07:00This wikipedia article is great work! It is at a r...This wikipedia article is great work! It is at a risk of being removed though, because of providing only primary religious sources (the Tipitaka). Perhaps Ven. Dhammika has some sources that discuss the Tipitaka, that can be referred to as well? <br /><br />Please note that I personally think the Tipitaka is a great source of information, but Wikipedia editors might think that such primary sources are generally open to discussion and interpretations, and therefore not valid by itself without secondary sources. Khemadhammohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00701526285830329095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-75389038038077958392016-06-30T10:46:46.197-07:002016-06-30T10:46:46.197-07:00Dear Bhante, I included your fine work in Wiki mys...Dear Bhante, I included your fine work in Wiki myself now. Let's see how they deal with it. I mentioned that the credit belongs to you on the discussion page for "Buddhist view of marriage".GiDohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00037285400565881820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-79504987413291941462016-06-30T04:43:41.310-07:002016-06-30T04:43:41.310-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.TY Lo (Walter)https://www.blogger.com/profile/14579979247262555736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-5579944859918833702016-06-29T06:02:29.364-07:002016-06-29T06:02:29.364-07:00Always happy to be informed that Pali suttas and c...Always happy to be informed that Pali suttas and commentaries are rubbish and that we should defer to a later Sanskrit sutra and a Belgian scholar of the mid-20th century. I guess there is just nothing more to say when we have the definitive word from the Tibetan history book the Blue Annals. Thanks very much for setting us all straight. If you detect a bit of sarcasm here, please just ignore it. You must be right and there's nothing more to say. Ken and Visakhahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16713910044241151429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-60750113970028619702016-06-29T01:40:00.820-07:002016-06-29T01:40:00.820-07:00It is well established rubbish that Siddhartha cho...It is well established rubbish that Siddhartha chose or favored monogamy. Etienne Lamotte has done some work in this field, which is published in the foot notes of Shurangama Samadhi Sutra. Theravada latched on Yashodhra as his only wife, and Lalitavistara sutra also mentions only one wife, but her name is Gopa! A third wife is also known by name, I forget the name now, but it is somewhere in the Vinayas of the Sravakaya schools, other than Theravada, says Lamotte. Two wives of Siddhartha are mentioned by name in the tibetan lineage history book the Blue Annals. Then there is the question of concubines, Sarvastivada school mentions them, as do some of the tibetan histories of Siddhartha. And their numbers run in thousands. Siddhartha's professed monogamy is a modern adaptation of Buddhism, it is protestant culture influenced forgetfulness..Yashashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14531349728636182477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-35622002569571764032016-06-28T00:31:19.223-07:002016-06-28T00:31:19.223-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.TY Lo (Walter)https://www.blogger.com/profile/14579979247262555736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-44781068851255023082016-06-21T16:37:30.975-07:002016-06-21T16:37:30.975-07:00I suppose that A.V,264 could have been interpreted...I suppose that A.V,264 could have been interpreted as allowing a male to play the field and some men may have used it as an excuse to do so. If one is determined to do or get something one can read or misread any text to suit oneself. But put together, the overwhelming impression Buddhist texts give concerning sex is one of restraint, continence and moderation - for men and women. But if you wish to believe that the Buddha encouraged men to be sexually promiscuous you are free to do so. Shravasti Dhammikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06246408068143301108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-64923291108999417892016-06-21T01:59:58.759-07:002016-06-21T01:59:58.759-07:00A.V,264 enumerates the females a male should not h...A.V,264 enumerates the females a male should not have sex with. This provides scope for men to have sex with women other than a sole wife, such as their other wives, concubines, etc. Often men had more than one wife, such as Ratthapala. Where as a woman can only have sex with her one husband. This is the teaching per Dhammapada 242. Real Buddha Dhamma Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01765431058517354070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-50309952550630769422016-06-18T10:10:57.777-07:002016-06-18T10:10:57.777-07:00Thank you Bhante for the most informative article....Thank you Bhante for the most informative article. It's not easy to find good articles on Buddhist views on marriage. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16207280238547489096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-32772458136334422242016-06-17T16:12:45.518-07:002016-06-17T16:12:45.518-07:00Dear Barbarra, Ken and Vesakha, thanks to each of ...Dear Barbarra, Ken and Vesakha, thanks to each of you for your comments. There seems little doubt that the Buddha’s teaching was an important factor in breaking down caste. He did indeed praise brahmans for marrying only within their own caste,but, it seems to me, only because those that did were not being hypocrites in that at least they were doing what they taught they were supposed to do. Next. I restate my position that there is no reference to child marriage in the Tipitaka. The passage you mention in the Sigalovada Sutta uses the word putta which can mean broadly child or generally son. Here it means son because of the passage “find him a suitable wife” (patirupena darena samyojenti). But just as the English ‘son’ is not age-specific (“My son has just had his 30th birthday”) neither is the Pali. The word boy (pre-pubescent or early teens) is usually balaka or daraka. <br />It is not clear how your statement “In other words, it does not provide scope for a period of pre-marital sex & sowing wild oats” relates to child marriage. Please be more clear so I can comment,if necessary. <br />To assume that because the Buddha’s language is often gender-specific (as was most of ours until just recently) and therefore “allows scope for men to have sex with women other than their wives” is, I think, being a bit too literal. Right now I am half-way through book written in the 60’s and one passage says: “All men eventually die.” If I were to take this to mean that the author does not believe or is trying to imply that females never die, I think you would quite justified in considering me a bit pedantic and a bit silly. At A.V,264 the Buddha enumerates the females a male should not have sex with. He was addressing a male audience but if he had been addressing audience of women he would have enumerated the female equivalents. Are you saying that a serious and sincere male Buddhist could honestly feel that the Buddha would countenance him committing adultery and being sexual promiscuous simply because he often couched his ideas in male-centred language? Come on Barbarra! Let’s be sensible about this. “The Tathagata uses the names, linguistic conventions, expressions and designations commonly used in the world but is misled by them” (D.I,202) and we should do the same. <br />When I wrote that “there is no specific Buddhist wedding ceremony” I did not mean that there is no such ceremony’s but that there is no same or similar ceremony used across the different Buddhist countries, as there is say within Catholicism. To the best of my knowledge every Buddhist culture has its own distinct weddings. However, I would be interested to know whether the Japanese ceremony you mention is a traditional one, or a recent creation. Any information concerning this? <br />Shravasti Dhammikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06246408068143301108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-3229913369141401642016-06-17T03:31:43.536-07:002016-06-17T03:31:43.536-07:00It's not quite true that "There is no spe...It's not quite true that "There is no specific Buddhist wedding ceremony." The Japanese Jodoshin (Pure Land) Sect does conduct wedding ceremonies. These are clearly described at:<br /><br />http://www.buddhanet.net/nippon/nippon_partII.html<br />Section 3.: BUDDHIST RITES OF PASSAGE IN TRADITIONAL JAPANESE LIFE<br />Paragraph c): Marriage<br /><br />Further description, with provision for application can be found<br />for Japan:<br />http://www.hongwanji.or.jp/english/hongwanji/service.html<br /><br />and for Hawaii:<br />http://punahongwanji.org/?page_idKen and Visakhahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16713910044241151429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-35691445489427269502016-06-16T21:33:41.006-07:002016-06-16T21:33:41.006-07:00Excellent article on the topic yet somewhat saniti...Excellent article on the topic yet somewhat sanitized. Tt states "Buddha’s teachings of human equality started to have the effect in breaking down caste barriers" and "Buddha criticized the Brahmans for buying their wives rather than coming together in harmony and out of mutual affection (A.III,222)". Yet A.III,222 also criticized Brahmins for marrying non-Brahmins, which shows the Buddha was not breaking down caste barriers (i.e., if we really believe the Buddha actually spoke those 'Brahmin-bashing' words in A.III,222). Also, the Sigalovada Sutta does mention 'child marriage' since it states parents "arrange a suitable marriage" for their children. In other words, it does not provide scope for a period of pre-marital sex & sowing wild oats. Also, the suttas (eg. Dhammapada 242) solely criticise women for having a sexual partner other than their husbands yet the definition of sexual misconduct is male-centred and allows scope for a man to have sex with women other than his wife. Real Buddha Dhamma Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01765431058517354070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-59980129536916973162016-06-16T21:28:19.285-07:002016-06-16T21:28:19.285-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Real Buddha Dhamma Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01765431058517354070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-83004307828931740632016-06-15T04:56:47.230-07:002016-06-15T04:56:47.230-07:00 On several occasions I attempted to add minor cor... On several occasions I attempted to add minor corrections/additions/improvements to Wikipedia and everything was deleted within 24 hours. So I didn’t bother again. Shravasti Dhammikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06246408068143301108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-46341821301866237802016-06-15T03:25:01.765-07:002016-06-15T03:25:01.765-07:00Great article! Good research. Great article! Good research. Khemadhammohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00701526285830329095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1012277645322483593.post-36908891804006244862016-06-15T03:14:41.949-07:002016-06-15T03:14:41.949-07:00Wikipedia Buddhism editors please take note: You k...<i>Wikipedia Buddhism editors please take note</i>: You know that the very concept of Wikipedia is that you are supposed to edit it yourself :-)賈尼https://www.blogger.com/profile/03207671300903490067noreply@blogger.com